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It's Monday again, and you know what that means, kids!

Yes, it's another Freewriting Monday here at The Penguin Papers, another chance for me to blather on like I know how to write. 

I've been laying low this past week. Remember the "I haven't cried yet" post? It happened and while it wasn't glorious or cathartic, it did get a fair amount of pent-up emotion released. I liken it to the aftermath of a decent dose of Milk of Magnesia - sudden and nasty. Not to mention that I am not a pretty crier and with my face already puffy from what I now know is a sinus infection, you can imagine how attractive I was that day. So, I took some time off thinking that I might get hit with it again, but so far I have retained the tenuous control over my emotions that I had before the purge. We'll call it a temporary emotion dump. 

By today's count we are at T-21 days until Operation Kick Cancer's Ass. There's lots to do before the event, namely prepare for Christmas and wait for a certain young man in my life to make his arrival. Oh, and I might try to sneak another freak-out or two in there, as well. Who knows. 

 

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T-1. Tick.....tick.....tick.....

So, tomorrow's the big day. I spent today taking my second round of antibiotics, on a clear liquid diet and doing my colon prep. It's pretty safe to say I don't feel like going dancing right now and my lower alimentary canal has just asked for a divorce. However, if you happen to have a wonderfully greasy cheeseburger for me, you'll have a friend for life. I realize not much of this makes sense and really this is just putting off going to bed. I'm a little anxious and scared, at the same time really wanting this whole thing over. So much feels uncertain right now - health, career, education - and after tomorrow a new normal will happen that there's no preview for. I am certain of the important things, thankfully. Between my husband, my family and so many fiends, no one has let me forget that I am loved and that alone will help me sleep tonight and get through the surgery and recovery. How blessed I am. And with that I shall say goodnight.